Thanksgiving alone = good

Let me start off by saying that by the word "alone", I mean me and QueenJaymz. We spent Thanksgiving alone for the first time since we got married. We don't aspire to spend the holidays alone, however, we will no longer despise the thought.

What I learned on Thanksgiving of 2009:

A pitcher of great beer, a basket of crispy fries and a movie at a McMenamins resort is really pretty awesome on any day of the year.

Panda Express cooks almost all of their entrees to order on Thanksgiving day between 11am and 7pm, so it is fresh, and much more care is given to preparation, since there are so few people there. It is like gourmet Chinese.

It is truly better to be alone than to be with a bunch of other people related to each other, genuinely enjoying each other being reminded of all that you don't have while still feeling like an outsider.

It is truly better to be alone than deal with your own very dysfunctional family drama.

Don't call it a comeback...

For the longest time, I haven't been able to blog to much effect. It always has turned me inward and sad. I've been carrying this heavy weight of depression around my neck for a long time, but it's become markedly worse in the last couple of years. Getting excommunicated from my family for going to bat for my wife in a spat and meeting a great deal of professional failure after getting my degree have taken their toll on me.

However, I'm doing something about it, finally. I've been taking a good course of therapy for about a month, now. My fifth appointment will be tomorrow morning. I've been doing what is called "Cognitive-Behavioral" Therapy. If you don't know it, look it up. It's worth your while. The end result is to have a positive therapy outcome in as few visits as possible while empowering the client to become their own therapist. I'm feeling really good about it, so far. I've even had "fair to middlin'" emotions, rather than just extreme highs or lows, which is completely new and foreign to me. But, I'm really excited by it.

I'm hoping that as this deathly pallor lifts that I will be able to reengage here, even if nobody really reads this crap. I've missed writing. As some of you know, depression steals all the joy from the joyful things. I'm enjoying things again, so let's hope it sticks. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Hope to post again in the not-so-distant future.

Blessings

Suddenly Arrested

I was going to blog about other things, today, but the news that Eunice Kennedy Shriver had passed on to the next life arrested my attention.

"What you do to the least of my brothers, I tell you, you also do unto me." A woman driven by her strong faith in Christ, a tragic pre-frontal lobotomy done to her older sister (which her parents were assured by their doctors would make her normal) and a passion to serve "the least of these" led to a life of service not matched by any of her siblings in the Kennedy clan. Hers was the humble route, spurning the fame, limelight and the social privilege of her name to serve underpriviliged children, people leaving incarceration, and, later, serving as vice-president and, eventually, president of the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr Foundation (named after her brother who died in the war), founded by her father, to advance rights and treatment of people with disabilities.

I'm truly saddened by this, our loss. She gave up a life of comfort, liesure and fame to serve the "untouchables" of our culture with love and humility. In so many ways, she is America's own Mother Teresa.

You should follow the link above. It has a much more full obituary that is very worth reading.

Her daughter is Maria Shriver, married to the Governator of Kali-forn-yuh. She and her husband, Sargent, are also survived by four sons.

Lest We Forget

There are still people out there who randomly do very generous things, just for the sake of kindness and love:

Mystery man hands out gifts at Oregon festival

Five Feet of Knowledge

Now, for my Jesus following hommes, how about a well rounded education in our faith? I'll hold you to five feet on this one. For Multnomahites, it was a three year ordeal to get all the bible and theology, so that three year education on a five foot bookshelf. What books would you put up there? Let's all agree to disagree agreeably before we get out the door on this one, mmmkay? (in my best Mr. Vandresen impression)

A Solid Foundation

One hundred years ago, Dr. Charles Eliot proposed that he could fit on a five foot bookshelf the literature necessary to give a person a well rounded, liberal education (meaning arts, history, literature). I really like the premise. For one, it's simple. Not to mention, far less expensive than the two years of college tuition you spend paying for said education.

I want to ask my readers: Do you think that this is still possible in today's world? I'll even give you an extra foot added to the shelf (so six feet total), if you're on the fence. What books would you put up there? Is it even a relevant idea? Let's all agree to disagree agreeably before we get out the door on this one, mmmkay? (in my best Mr. Vandresen impression)

I'll post my thoughts in a couple of days, after the discussion is rolling.

Here are the links to Dr. Eliot's shelf:

http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Harvard_Classics_(Bookshelf)

http://www.bartleby.com/hc/

The next piece of the puzzle

Sometimes putting together the pieces of one's life is like putting together a puzzle. One piece fits another, then another, and soon you have a little section in the middle or a good corner to work out from. Other times, it's like putting together a puzzle where each piece seems to fit the piece you are trying physically, but you can tell from the visual pattern that it certainly doesn't belong. You try each piece and they "fit" but they aren't right. Fortunately, things have seemed the former rather than the latter for me, lately.

For those who didn't read my previous post on this issue, this one dove-tails with this one (or this one, for you Facebookers).

A group of us Short Bussers were out helping a friend with his house, since he has cancer and is weak from chemo treatments. I was working at clearing moss from his roof with a friend when I began wondering: "How does all this help make him feel, right now?" and "How will he feel once we all leave and go home?" Then, I began to probe myself: "How would I feel if I were him, getting all of this help?" "How would I feel when everyone left?" I answered those questions with disturbing honesty to myself. I would feel great when everyone was there helping me out. However, when everyone went home, I'd feel empty and sad. I probed deeper and found that I was attempting to make up for what I lack in family by expecting it to come from other places. It wasn't coming from them, so anything anyone else does for me is not enough to make up for it. Ergo: I am always moving from a place of dissatisfaction and am never satisfied. I need to move from that place of appreciation for whatever anyone does for me, and that will then fill me. That was pretty significant.

It isn't the whole picture...but it sure is a good start.

Blessings