Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Whut To Say On A Monday...

Looking at what I just named this post, I end my post titles with the three period continuance far too often. I don't think that I'm going to quit doing that, as it is really the way my life is and who I am, but I just realized I do it too often. Funny...

I know you don't come here just to hear me gripe, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum. I have been tired and depressed constantly for the last few months. I'm pretty sure it is my job. Sad thing is that, all other things considered, life is pretty stinkin' good right now. I just got what is quite possibly the last pre-sell available for the Nintendo Wii in the Portland, OR metro area yesterday. The guy at Toys R Us in Jantzen Beach who gave me the ticket said, "Lucky man. This is the last one." I imagined that they would be sold out weeks ago. Boy am I fortunate. God has blessed me in so many ways. I need to get this depression issue dealt with. I don't understand...anything about what I am dealing with. My mind is foggy. I feel so tired.

Couple that with having to face my personal demons on a daily basis (all the quiet and solitude ensures it), and it has been a rough road. I want to know what I need to do to face it, but...I'm not quite sure where to turn or what to do. Oh well.

On a positive note, I started a new dialogue with God today. Maybe it sounds silly, but it is the most significant thing to happen to me at work in a while that it is really worth reporting. I have had issues with fear for as long as I can remember. I have always been afraid of authority figures to the point that I would avoid them to my own detriment, even when they were helpful and kind. I'm not that spineless anymore, but I still have issues with that fear that I must overcome. Today, I took an important first step. I opened up to Him and just started a dialogue with Him that I have been too afraid to for so long. It is refreshing and hopeful. Something that I desperately need.

Well, I'll sign off for now. That's about all I have. Head on over to Liz's blog today. She has a prayer request. Dustin, too.

3 comments:

Dapoppins said...

Okay, I know people who pray. Me among them. I know people who hear God's voice. He actually speaks to people, imagine that. But I do not know anybody who has a "dialog with God." Yup. You are the first. However...I have an idea you will get as much out of your dialog as I will with my prayers...so,uhhh, keep it up.

michelle g said...

I think the name for the three dots is "elipses".... just so you know.

Miss talking to you. I have Corporate over my shoulder this week, so I have been extra quiet on every front. Doesn't mean I have forgotten anyone, and I still drop by the blogs sometimes. Still hoping to get online at home soon.

Just paid off our only car payment. We own both cars free and clear!!! Now we only have the future house I hope to be in by next Christmas, and the school loans for Jeff. Life is looking up!

Dean said...

Jared, wow, thanks for the honesty. You described some of the feelings I have been having the last few months. I really believe that one of weapons that is used against us in the spiritual realms is confusion. Our mind becomes numb, unfocused and we end up having a feeling of lostness. I have been praying for wisdom. Wisdom yanks out confusion and parks itself where confusion once sat. Know that God wants us to be joyful in trials because they are times of breakthrough. We don't thank God for problems, but we can be joyful in the midst of the problems. Great new ideas can come from times of trial. Faith is working on the problem, patience is working on me. Be patient as you walk joyfully in faith that He who began a good work in you will continue it till Christ returns. Blessings.