Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Price of Peace and Security


(Editor's note: Blogger is messing with my formatting, so I am getting creative to indicate the indentations of my paragraphs)
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Sometimes I write because it is or has been a catalyst of change in my own life. Sometimes I write because of unfulfilled needs. Yet others I write because my life is so messed up that I just hope that people can avoid such things and find joy and peace in areas that are constant struggles for me. I'm studying with the intention of one day being a personal and family/marriage counselor. Any good one will admit that your problems aren't ones that he's never dealt with in some form or another in his/her own personal life. If they do, find another one.
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I love to watch the show Shalom in the Home, with Rabbi Schmuley. He's a grand guy with a lot of love in his heart (if only it were pointed to Jesus). This last week, he visited a family that had many issues I found familiar to my childhood.
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It was a traditional family with a 16 year old daughter and two sons, 13 and 11. The father and daughter avoided each other completely. They had literally not spoken in several months. The mother was an ineffective peace maker between the daughter and her two boys, and she was reduced to uttering inane platitudes when an argument broke out. The whole family unit was suffering. Why?
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The father was a good man. He was a fire captain, and he cared for his family. He tried to talk to his daughter, but nothing worked. What was the issue then? He rarely, if ever, told his children and wife that he loved them. He rarely showed any affection, and he was not involved in the interests of his kids. They all grew to feel so distant from him, even though they loved him and each other very much, and he loved them.
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With just a little bit of behavioral coaching, and the exercise of cooking dinner together for their parents, the children found love and respect for each other. The sister found that she could love her brothers and communicate with them. Yet, she had to learn how to show her brothers love because she wasn't seeing it from the man in her life...her father.
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When he began getting involved in the life of his wife and kids and began showing them the love and affection they needed, it was like night and day. The family who couldn't get along at all for any length of time was now living in a constant harmonious state.
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Men do not often respect or understand the great burden put on their shoulders. Thursday I asked women how they were doing at expressing respect for their husbands and sons. Today, I ask, "Men, how are you doing at expressing love to your wife and children? Do you know when the last time they participated in an event related to their interests? Did you go? Have you hugged your wife and children since yesterday? Have you told them you loved them in the last 24 hours?" Strong churches and countries require strong families. Strong families require strong women and strong men. What you do will impact whether your children ever come home again when they leave. What are you doing to ensure they will?
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Your fellow laborer in the (bathroom) trenches,
Dr. J

4 comments:

R said...

How pertinent to my post! I snatched a goodie!

You might enjoy reading my husband's blog (the link is on mine under "Dear Sir"). He loves history and theology.

Good post!

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I've never heard of this show before, but now I'm interested. What station does it come on?

I also wanted to comment that I was somewhat disappointed with the Jesus comment you made, to me, it felt disrespectful towards the Rabbi and his religion...it was as if you indicated that the show was great, but had to be taken with a grain of salt because the Rabbi isn't a Christian and thus doesn't have the right direction in life. Shouldn't it be enough for you to say, this Rabbi is wonderful, he is serving God (the same God as you worship, might I point out), by helping families become better families and better people.

I know that you didn't intend the comment to be disrespectful, but that's the way it probably would be interpreted by someone of the Jewish faith. They have been persecuted enough over the last thousands of years...isn't that enough?

KingJaymz said...

I've never heard of this show before, but now I'm interested. What station does it come on?
It is on TLC, Mondays at 8pm (at least, it is in my time zone)

I also wanted to comment that I was somewhat disappointed with the Jesus comment you made, to me, it felt disrespectful towards the Rabbi and his religion...it was as if you indicated that the show was great, but had to be taken with a grain of salt because the Rabbi isn't a Christian and thus doesn't have the right direction in life.
If you got that from my comment, you completely misunderstood me. I have never thought less of a professional's ability just because they happen to practice a certain religion. Rabbi Schmuley is probably one of the best family counselors in the nation. I'm studying for that field, and I'm taking many notes from him. He has fantastic insight into how each individual plays into family dynamics.

Shouldn't it be enough for you to say, this Rabbi is wonderful, he is serving God (the same God as you worship, might I point out), by helping families become better families and better people.
This is where we part company. It is really popular for people to say that it is all the same, but it isn't. Otherwise, we'd all be under one roof. There are drastic differences. The Muslims say that salvation is through the word of the prophet Muhammad. The Jews have multiple theories on salvation depending on whether you are traditional, reformed, etc. Christians believe that God provided a way for us to know Him through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.

My goal in life has been to seek the truth and follow that. This truth is ultimately expressed in God's love for us through His Son. I don't buy pluralism. There has to be objective truth somewhere. If there isn't, nothing we do, be it murder or justice, matters. Our fate is all the same when we pass from this life. Yet, I cannot believe that.


I know that you didn't intend the comment to be disrespectful, but that's the way it probably would be interpreted by someone of the Jewish faith. They have been persecuted enough over the last thousands of years...isn't that enough?
I did not threaten to cut off the good Rabbi's head. Nor did I tell everyone to avoid him and other people who practice the Jewish faith. I commended others to the Rabbi's teachings on marriage and family dynamics. My desire is that all should come to know God through His Son Jesus, including you and Rabbi Schmuley. I'm not the kind of person who goes after people with a Bible, thumping them over the head and telling them they must believe RIGHT NOW, but I am the kind of person who expresses the sincerest desires of his heart through the lens of my faith. Most of the people who read my blog are Christians and understood what I meant by it. They also know that I am a man of no malice. I don't hate anyone else because of their faith in something different. If merely expressing a desire for others to know Christ is persecution, then I am guilty as the day is long. If it is anything else, then the question goes too far. I am one of the biggest allies of Jews and Israel there is. From an Orthodox Christian point-of-view, they are still God's chosen people. I believe this very much, and I desire to see them dwell in security whether they be in Israel, the US, Canada, or any other nation across the world. What's being done to Jews all over Russia today should be of greater concern than any harmless comment made about a single Rabbi. Putin and the thugs in his regime are persecuting them. It gets even less air time than the severe tragedies happening in Darfur today that go unaddressed by the media. That is saying something.

Chelf said...

I like the new look. Blogger have anything to do with you not having links anymore?

Can't a girl have a life? I have been at the zoo two days this week, and didn't get home in time to do any thinking. I barely get laundry done anymore. Too much time on this confounded thing.

I am working on another significant thought, complete with uncommon word. Will be up by Friday, if I don't get bombarded by life. (Lord willing and the creek don't rise?)