Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Monday, April 09, 2007

For Freedom

First off, I'm sorry for two things. 1. I haven't been around much. Work has kept me frenzily occupied, as has other things in my life. 2. I owe some people some links to my blog I haven't gotten up yet. I'll rectify that soon. And NOW, on with the show...

I could not leave this one alone. Here's a quote from Rev. (self-appointed title) Al Sharpton:
We cannot keep going through offending us and then apologizing and then acting
like it never happened. Somewhere we've got to stop this.
He made the comment regarding an insult that he decided must be interpreted as a racial insult. Now, I don't know what gospel Al Sharpton thinks he appointed himself a "Reverend" of, but it certainly isn't mine. Don't get me wrong, there were elements of social justice in the ministry of Jesus Christ, but that isn't why God became man in the flesh. He brought the message of redemption and forgiveness of sins. In that, he taught us to forgive "seventy times seven," that being an expression for "just keep forgiving," not "until you can count 490 times." I can't stand hater/fakers like Sharpton and Jackson. They pretend to push for tolerance when they really want special privilege and supression of free speech and the truth. Martin Luther King, Jr was a good man with a righteous goal. These guys are just nut jobs.

Jen and I had our first session with a Christian counselor last Tuesday. The situation with my parents has been difficult, lately, and it is having a definitely negative impact on our marriage. I was nervous about going (somewhat ironic since I aspire to be a personal and family counselor, but I've been to some terrible counselors, so I was justified) but so glad I did. The end result: I feel like, for the first time in my life, I've had the handcuffs taken off. I have been released from a spirit of bondage that has generational implications in my family. I was so afraid of dishonoring my parents (concerning my responsibility before the Lord to them) that I have allowed my mother the cherished spot in my life that Jen deserves. I learned that I had really not left my family, according to the Genesis 3:24 principle. I know now that I need to just stand and be firm with them about our standards and boundaries, and require my mother to give Jen more respect. My dad never did this with his family and I have seen the implications it has had in my parents' marriage. I feel free for the first time. The ambition of my youth has returned. I am a doer, once again. I want to go out there and give 'em heaven (teehee). For the first time since I can remember, I believe in myself, I respect myself, and I am holding the power of self-determination in my life.

Oddly related to this, Jen and I didn't remember what to do when we lit the unity candle at our wedding, so we didn't snuff out the candles we lit it with. That is really symbolic of what I've allowed to continue. After counseling, I took Jen to dinner, and then I kept her "in the dark" but we went to the craft store where I bought a new unity candle, and the tapered candles to light it with. I took her home, and we sat on the brick barrier wall of our apartment complex. I had her close her eyes and set the unity candle between us, and lit two tapered candles (the fire between us being reminiscent of Genesis 15:27, which I cited to her). We lit the unity candle again, and blew out our "birth family" candles. After I blew mine out, I re-lit it, and I snuffed it out a second time with my fingers. My breath affirming that it is the Holy Spirit that bound us together, my fingers affirmed that it would be painful in my flesh to do the separating I now know I must do that I did not do when I made that initial promise 7 years ago. Then, I snapped my "family candle" in half, and sealed off the wick from the bottom half with wax and threw away the top portion. I wanted there to be no questions left about my conviction of "no going back." Jen followed suit. We will have a display unit built for these candles as a constant reminder of our solemn vow to forsake all others and cling only to each other. It is for freedom that I have been set free by Jesus Christ, and I will not go back to Egypt.


Looney Mom said...

I agree on those two: nut jobs for sure. And I already gave you my reaction to the other. I won't be going back to Egypt either! Hallelujah! It feels good to be free, huh? Peace, bro.

clumsy ox said...

That whole leaving thing is infinitely important. And it starts right at the beginning: I have small children, and I am conscious that I am raising them with the explicit understanding that the Lord intends them to leave us; just like I left my parents.

This has triggered a whole bunch of thoughts that I started to type out here, but it's way long for a comments section.

Thanks for the blog topic!


Delia said...

I am in complete agreement on the nut jobs.

I think that what you and Jen did was a very beautiful and important thing. It takes a lot to really forsake all others and the fact that ya'll are willing to do that, even if it is 7 years later (maybe especially since it's 7 years later), is a wonderful testament of your love for each other and your love for God.

Chelf said...

I am not going to touch the topic of the nut jobs. You did a good job.

I am happy that you and Jen have such a positive reaction to only one session with the counselor. I am sure that the next sessions will be even better.

Congratulations on renewing those vows together.

Dapoppins said...

In about ten years, your going to have to remind me about all of this...I don't consider myself to be over-protective or controlling of my children, but the minute I cant see them I begin to worry and get uncomfortable...my husband and I didn't really have to deal with this particular issue, so I have nothing to prepare me for going though it with my own children.

R said...

Jared, is there any way I can get your email? In fact, here is my email: wessexcathedral@gmail.com

Please email me. Your post made me cry!

I just have a few questions.

Niki said...

You rock! You and Jen will be much better parents than what you have/had. Keep working on the relationship and you'll keep growing together in unity.