Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

...never mind

Apparently, it is a little too much to ask to be taken seriously on a rare occasion. I unpublished the posts and will put up something tomorrow.

Until then, here is a continuation of the "Two Cow economic system" satire jokes. I'm not trying to make a point about anything with this. It was just hilarious.

CALIFORNIA
You have a cow and a bull.
The bull is depressed.
It has spent its life living a lie.
It goes away for two weeks.
It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
You now have two cows.
One makes milk; the other doesn't.
You try to sell the transgender cow.
Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
You lose in court.
You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
You change your business to beef.
PETA pickets your farm.
Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help 'working cows'.
Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm 'for the children'.
Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats.
You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
The cow starves to death.
The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.

6 comments:

clumsy ox said...

Now that's just plain cold. A clumsy ox tries to comment, you point out that he utterly failed to do so correctly, then you unpost????????

So now you get to read my Top 5 in the wrong place.

I was a Physics major in University. Here are my top 5 Physics heroes:
1. Isaac Newton figured out that modelling the world as strictly mechanical made modern science possible. Anyone who can write Principia and a pile of Bible commentaries has my respect.
2. James Clerk Maxwell realized that "empty space" wasn't empty at all: it's full of potential, so to speak. Einstein called Maxwell the greatest physicist of the 19th century.
3. Max Planck "Damn the explanation! This equation fits the data." How cool is a guy who's willing to pitch his entire world view when it doesn't match the observable data?
4. Erwin Schroedinger Anybody who'd (maybe) kill his cat just to (maybe) prove a point can't be all that bad. And then to produce a monster differential equation that people can solve but can't explain? Schroedinger was just too cool.
5. Richard Feynman. Don't know the answer? make one up! Feynman restored intellectual dignity to the art of teaching. Not that he wasn't a brilliant scientist, but he was willing to share the knowledge, rather than hoarding it.

That's today's clumsy hero list.

KingJaymz said...

You get "Cow Bell Hero" status for the day, and two gold stars! That was a freakin' awesome list! I love physics.

That almost makes me want to root for Ottowa tonight.

Dapoppins said...

dapoppins runs screaming from the room...

Looney Mom said...

LOL! I love this. Too funny.

And... What'd I miss? Geesh. Maybe I can check my bloglines.

Anne said...

Am I missing something? Where's the "hugging" post?

R said...

Jared, are you ok man?