Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Well, one thing led to another and we ended up...

I never got the ability to post my controversial post over Friday, and I try to take the weekends off from everything. It's good for the soul to disconnect for a while and recharge the batteries. Said controversial post will show up soon, however. Maybe (not) today, maybe (not) tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

Instead, I'll offend everyone else in a different way today. I don't know what it is with people in general, but I'm looked down upon by many who know me just well enough to understand my life ambitions. You see, Jen and I have been married for seven and a half years and we are still childless. It is a forced decision. We are waiting until I can finish my education so that I can have a greater guarantee of job stability and earning capacity. However, many people insinuate that such goals are not valid, and that we are foolish for putting off having a family. They think we should just have kids and I should be able to find a career job somewhere with my current level of education.

Others have gone as far to insinuate that I am lazy and that if I were really willing to work hard and sacrifice that we'd be able to have children and do all of those other things. The majority of this has come from people who are 15+ years my senior, though there have been some younger who have said the same.

I don't think most people understand the job situation for my generation. It isn't like there are union or great career jobs just opening up all of the time. And the ones that are come open because they really suck and no one wants to take them. Things have shifted, and jobs that were paying living wages 12 or so years ago are now paying $10 an hour. The competition of cheap labor from overseas has driven down wages, while the cost of living and home ownership (don't even get me started about health care) are at an all time high. I'm not having children that I can't provide for.

Some have told us, "Well, if you start tithing, you'd be surprised at how the Lord can grow your money." God is not a wishing well that we can toss enough quarters into to get what we want. If we are truly living for Him, it is about Him and not us. It is actually because we give that we cannot afford to purchase a home. Don't cast me as a martyr, or someone who wants the empty praise of man for a sacrifice willingly chosen. I make the point that God is not a genie, though, whether consciously or subconsciously, some people have made Him out to be just that.

God has chosen a path for Jen and I. It is not a path for everyone. People who greet us at this point of the journey have absolutely no appreciation for where we have traveled from. They have no idea how well or ill-equipped our childhoods have prepared us for our journey. They also don't know what support we do or don't have. And most people who make those judgments against us are quite willing to do that, but are never willing to provide such support that would be necessary were we to make the decision to have kids (which is a shame on those who belong to the Body of Christ, especially). It would merely provide them with self-righteous justification that we'd be doing things they way that they think we should. That's no reason at all to have children.

God views Jen and I as a complete and whole family as we are. He joined us together. We may not have kids right now, but we are still a valid family. We have a wonderful relationship, are madly in love with one another, and enjoy the time we have together. I wish people would spend more time appreciating and enjoying Jen and I for who we are, instead of just the couple who's been married too long to not have kids. If we are viewed as incomplete, it is not because we are the ones who are lacking...

I'll be back with something new (and hopefully more positive) tomorrow.

Blessings