Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Friday, August 10, 2007

The Lost Art of Omeletry: Update

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UPDATE: Coming back from my chiropractic appointment this morning, I saw "Kings Omelet Family Restaurant." I was kicking myself for not having a camera to take a picture with! After this post, it made me laugh pretty hard.
Few people nowadays know how to make an omelet. I think that's sad. We always ask for our eggs scrambled or over-easy. There has to be more here! I don't want a wad of small, rubbery (and often watery) egg particulate. I want an omelet! The inside, so fluffy and moist, the outside, a little brown from milk solids (in the butter) and tender.

Well, it's time I taught all of you Cretans a little class. You will now all be instructed on how to make a proper omelet. You will read all the way through, you will practice, and you will impress the hell out of everyone you know. They will think you're a genius for something that is actually so simple.

First, method depends on how many eggs you use. For beginners, I recommend a two egg omelet. Two eggs are manageable.

Two eggs
A half-tablespoon of butter (can be replaced by either Smart Balance or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, but use the real thing and you'll be rewarded)
One and one-half tablespoon of milk (this goes against French tradition, but, hey, it's "French" tradition, like surrendering quickly before hostilities begin, so my American blood demands I shake this up a bit!)

A decent non-stick skillet (it needs to still have it's non-stick properties)
A plastic or silicone flipper
One plate and one fork (unless you want to eat it with your bare hands out of the skillet, which I don't recommend; some experiences can be skipped, like trips to the burn ward).

Heat your skillet over medium-low heat. Give it a few minutes to warm up (especially if you are forced to cook on an electric range, like me).

Crack the eggs into a mixing bowl. Break the yolks a little and sprinkle just a pinch of salt on them. Whisk them just a little, then allow to sit for a minute or two. The salt breaks down the eggs and lets the yolk and white blend together quite nicely. Whisk together. Add the milk and whisk a little more.

Toss your butter into the skillet. As it melts, tilt the skillet around to distribute the butter. This will get the flavor all over your omelet. Then pour in the egg mixture. I'm going to ask you to do something totally radical now. Do NOT disturb this for at least forty-five seconds! OMG, I'm like totally serious! You need to allow the foundation of your omelet to develop. If you start fooling around, you'll have scrambled eggs.

After you see the omelet start to form (it's forming when you can clearly see a solid mass developing in the whole skillet, not just around the edges), start with one side and gently lift up the edge. Tilt the skillet so that some of the liquid drains in under the omelet. Do this to two sides (opposite edges works the best). There should still be a decent amount of liquid clinging to the surface of the omelet. That is good. If this isn't happening, your bottom is probably burnt and you're over done in the middle.

Tilt the skillet to one side again. This time, carefully work your flipper underneath the "high" side of the omelet. Gently but swiftly, fold it in half. You may have to make several (like 10 or more) to get this right, but once you do, it's totally worth it. Tilt the pan back and allow the omelet to gently slide back into the center of the skillet. Allow to cook for about another 30 seconds, and then you're done.

Just tilt the skillet and slide it out onto a plate for some great presentation, and you're done.

Once you get the basic omelet down (which took me a couple months worth of practice), the world is your oyster. Got some left over mushrooms and olives from last night's Italian feast? Omelet fodder. Left over cheese from that get together or wake? Omelet fodder. Last week's lunch meat, and sick of sandwiches? Omelet fodder. Those onions and bell peppers just sitting in the fridge and about to go bad (well, onions don't go in the fridge, but you get the idea)? Yup, omelet fodder.

However, I generally prefer just a plain two egg omelet, a little salt and a little fresh cracked pepper over the top. The sweetness from the butter sitting in balance with the silkiness of the eggs and the salt and pepper flavors. Mmm. If I weren't out of eggs.

Below is a picture of the resulting interior of a "medium-well" done omelet (my preference). You put a little cantaloupe and some white wine with it, and you have a brunch that is sure to impress your friends.

Maybe next week we can cover frittata.

Bon appetito


R said...

Hey, I know how to make an omelet, but I like soft boiled eggs better with a piece of toast. Brings me back to my childhood.

You make a mean omelet, I must say. Great picture, great instructions, I read the whole thing and loved it. Can you tell I love to read cooking magazines and watch cooking shows?

I hope things are going ok with the job front. Let me know how all that is going, bro.

The Family Jewels said...

That almost makes me want to try cooking again. I've got a pretty good thing going though, so I will pass this along to the master chef. I'll let you know what comes out...normally a scrambled agg girl.

clumsy ox said...

I'm not a big fan of omelettes, and I frankly despise scrambled eggs. Over easy in a diner or at home, eggs Benedict in a nice restaurant. I used to eat a lot of soft-boiled, but haven't done that since marrying an American.

I went through an omelette phase a few years ago, though. Where were you when I needed you, bro?

I loved your post! Step-by-step instructions are excellent, and the photos were good.

I did make one decent-looking omelette. Here's a pic.

Chelf said...

I like my omelet fodder to be prepared by someone else. I am better at a scrambled mess, or a baked quiche imitation.

And the cheese is better inside the eggs than only on the top. Just saying.

Delia said...

I like omelets and they're one thing that I can actually make. Only because my older sister is a bona fide cheese omelet lover and when we were teenagers she wanted them all the time but she hated making them all the time.

I loved this post. The step by step instructions for your recipes are awesome, I'll be looking forward to more of them.

bertagirl said...

I love omelets.. I love making them for other people more! Your instructions were right on. I need to invest in a new pan. That can make all the difference.
I like to mix up all the fixins in the eggs and than pile up the cheese to top it off!!
I hope more cooking stuff is to come.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

An omelet isn't an omelet without those extras. Without them it's just scrambled eggs. Trust me, my parents make the best omelets you will ever have. Asparagus is REALLY good.

Looney Mom said...

I love an omelet wrapped in a fresh homemade tortilla. Yummy.

My word verification is "dizies" LOL! That's certainly what I feel like these days!!

Dapoppins said...

Hey, where is the coffee? Oh, wait, it moved!

Shan said...

HP. Houses of Parliament. Herbert Peever. Whatever you call it, you gotta have it.