Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thankful for...

So much to say, I'll try to keep it brief.

Still feeling a little bit of that crisis of faith and hope, but I'm feeling more like the father of the boy in Mark who cried out "I believe Lord! Help my unbelief."

My younger brother drunk dialed me on Wednesday night. It didn't go well. He's an alcoholic, but thinks he's better than everyone else because he "solved" his problem of reliance on illegal drugs on his own. He's polishing off a twelve pack every night. Obviously, that's working out really well for him.

He's lost all hope in life. That's why he's drinking at this point. It used to be recreational. Now, it's to avoid those feelings of sorrow and hopelessness.

I don't want to be there. If there is no hope for this life or the next, what is there? So, I'm re embracing hope. What else is there to do?

However, it isn't just as simple as making the choice. I have to feel it in my heart, and I'm still working on that.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with QueenJaymz's folks. They've been great over the last year and a half. They've embraced me in a way that I've not felt from my own parents.

It helps me not to feel completely orphaned. I didn't call my folks, and they didn't try to call me. I hate being at odds with them, but, what do I do? My wife is where my loyalty lies.

I got to watch football, though, and that made me just totally ecstatic. Lions vs. Packers is a Thanksgiving tradition. I love it. My parents griped about how Jen and I wanted to watch a game on Thanksgiving or Christmas. We watched THREE, count 'em, THREE games on Thanksgiving. Now, I give thanks for that! I'da confined myself to a single game if we had children...but we don't! HAH!

They loved us well and did some things to help us out with our current financial situation, even though they are barely making it because of their own mounting medical bills. It's a warming, loving feeling.

I watched the movie "Fargo" while we were there and I was sorry that I did. It's a tale of senseless, sorrowful murder that ends with little hope for anything. I'm not saying that it was a bad movie all around (the writing, acting and directing were actually brilliant), but it doesn't give you much hope for mankind. In the words of Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner in "The Untouchables"), "So much violence..." And for what? A little money? It's hard to have hope sometimes.

Life. Death. Sacred moments profaned by human evil. Life is such a precious, fragile thing.

However, today is another day of Advent and I'm resting on the hope of the prophets who told of a coming Messiah who would be born of a virgin and who would be a hope and light to the gentiles. We're decorating the home, drinking mulled cider and listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas specials. Time to celebrate for another day the only hope of my world.


Shan said...

Let me just give you a little reality check.

If you had children, you'da watched 17 minutes of football. And those not continuously.

Just FYI.

R said...

No, that's not true, Shan. (at least for me) I have three kids and whenever my husband wants to watch football, he does. The kids have nothing to do with it. They actually watch it with him. And I pretty much have nothing to do. :)

I suppose if the kids were very little they would interrupt some, but it would never be continual disruption or a mere 17 minutes of football. At least in my house. Depends on how you raise them, I guess.

Anne said...

Wow - you DID have a lot to say. A lot of meat there to chew on.

I can only say as I've said before - I love you and I pray for you always. :)


I watched Fargo a long time ago - yuck! I agree, good film. But the violence - it was distressing to my soul.

Niki said...

Dude! What Advent calendar are you using? Advent begins this coming Sunday...it's the 4 Sundays before Christmas Day which makes it Dec. 2nd this year.

Glad you two had a great Thanksgiving with Jen's family!

KingJaymz said...

Orthodox tradition is the forty days leading up to Christmas. It is not as widely practiced as the "four Sundays" version, but it's the one the Orthodox church uses.

Dapoppins said...

I heard how great Fargo was...rented it...watched, not even half of it. I thought it was a lot of wasted energy too. Glad you had a great Thanksgiving! We were sick....But we had rented Ratatooi and the that was well enjoyed as we all lay around like half dead fish.

I say fish because with everyone feeling so ill...we kinda stunk.

Niki said...

Gotcha. :) I stand corrected. I'm not Orthodox anything, so I didn't know...

Shan said...

Whoa.....r, that stung, man. "Depends on how you raise them"? I feel no shame in admitting I have raised my children not to revere the sanctity of cable television programming. I think it depends more on how you look at it, than on how you raise them. I look at TV as an interruption to the family, not the other way around.

R said...

I wasn't meaning any offense, Shan. I was just surprised that people can only watch 17 minutes of football when they want to.

Sure, it depends on how you raise them. Why not? You just said that you raised your children not to revere the sanctity of cable television programming. How you look at it is how you raise them. And that is ok. BTW--we just buckled down and got cable because we have one channel where we live and it was mostly "snow". But, I wasn't talking about TV, I was talking about kids interrupting what parents decide to do, whether it is TV or working out, or talking on the phone, or mowing the lawn.

Sorry I offended you. I was just about to comment something else and then your comment, after I read it, struck me. I have no idea how you raise your kids, I don't know you, and please give me the benefit of the doubt when I say that I was not meaning anything cutting by saying it depends on how you raise your kids. I meant you in general, not you in particular.

Shan said...

No, I get that. "Interrupting what parents decide to do", yeah, point taken. I sensed an implicit judgment in the "how you raised them" line. I have a Thing about parents who prioritize TV for themselves. I feel they set a bad example to their kids about what is important.

Anne said...

Okay, where are ya'?