Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Courage the cowardly...man

I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving. I spent mine with Clumsy Ox and his charming family. His mother and father, and his sister, Shan, and her husband and two gorgeous kids were all there. It's surreal that a lot of my blog friends are becoming irl friends. I do enjoy that. None of them have run away screaming...yet, so I must be half-decent in person. I should have brought my knitting. Shan and Ox's mother broght theirs, and QueenJaymz re-learned to knit while we were there. We drank great beer available only on Vancouver Island, played Wii until our arms were sore, and ate way too much good food. They're a blessed bunch, and it was a privilege and a pleasure to spend that time with them. When you come from a dysfunctional home and you get to spend time with others during this part of the year, it can be a great encouragement to know that this is a possibility for what may be for my family, someday.

I am at another crossroads, of sorts. I seem to end up at one a lot lately. I have a lot of really difficult things to deal and cope with coming down the pike. 

As a result of being bullied at school from second or third grade until my senior year (not to mention coming from a dysfunctional home, much thanks to my brothers), I learned to run away and hide when trouble reared its ugly head. I sought refuge by avoiding the harder things because there was nothing I could do about them. That was all I could do when I was being bullied. 

However, I carried that mindset into adulthood. "If I don't acknowledge it, I don't have to deal with it" was always my subconscious vein of thought. The trouble is that such a way of dealing with things leads to a coward's life...and lots of negative consequences. So, today is about courageously facing all those things that are difficult to deal with (a sentence ending preposition; my grammar is slipping). Here's to hoping that it all turns out positively. One thing is for sure: it will all turn out bad if I don't attempt to deal with it and advocate for myself.


1 comment:

Ames said...

Glad you had a good time.

Send me Ms. Jaymz e-mail address, will ya?

I expect to see some pictures of your finished projects soon.