Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Don't call it a comeback...

For the longest time, I haven't been able to blog to much effect. It always has turned me inward and sad. I've been carrying this heavy weight of depression around my neck for a long time, but it's become markedly worse in the last couple of years. Getting excommunicated from my family for going to bat for my wife in a spat and meeting a great deal of professional failure after getting my degree have taken their toll on me.

However, I'm doing something about it, finally. I've been taking a good course of therapy for about a month, now. My fifth appointment will be tomorrow morning. I've been doing what is called "Cognitive-Behavioral" Therapy. If you don't know it, look it up. It's worth your while. The end result is to have a positive therapy outcome in as few visits as possible while empowering the client to become their own therapist. I'm feeling really good about it, so far. I've even had "fair to middlin'" emotions, rather than just extreme highs or lows, which is completely new and foreign to me. But, I'm really excited by it.

I'm hoping that as this deathly pallor lifts that I will be able to reengage here, even if nobody really reads this crap. I've missed writing. As some of you know, depression steals all the joy from the joyful things. I'm enjoying things again, so let's hope it sticks. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Hope to post again in the not-so-distant future.


1 comment:

Sherrie Lord said...

Jared, do you have any idea how rare it is for a man to defend his wife like that? To stand up to your family for her? Amazing. I applaud you with a standing ovation.

I had to excise some narcissists in my close family from my life this past year. It was agony at the time, from the decision to the action. But it relieved me of so much stress and defeat. It was the best thing I've done in years, and was truly empowering. I can control some of what I'll put up with and what I let into my life.

I'm sorry you've been depressed. I've struggled with that dark companion all my adult life. It's awful. So I'm proud of you for seeking help. I have the faith that you'll get this under your feet.

God bless! I'll be praying for you.