Ah, Jared's Java. Pleasant taste. Slight Monsterism.

Welcome to the home of my mind, where I brew my intellectual and spiritual joe. Sit back and let me pour you a cup or two. I promise not to cut you off, even after you get the caffeine jitters.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

On Being

I’ve been spending a lot of time and energy over the last few years exploring my genealogy. I’ve been grateful for the experience, and I have loved learning more about my family’s history.

However, I have learned something profound from the search, apart from my rich and diverse cultural heritage: you can search your family tree and know your roots; you can travel the world and discover things unknown; you can find meaning in identifying with your ethnic roots; and you can do all that without ever understanding who you are as a person or knowing where “home” is for you.

Knowing where you come from can be wonderful. It certainly has been for me. But, it is little more than a cloak with which to wrap the “self” one truly is.

It’s a bit odd, looking back, as I explore this. I once thought that I was on the hunt for the person I truly am. I’m far from the end of the road of exploration of my genealogy, but I’ve come to see that the times I’ve made great discoveries about who I am have not been on genealogy.com or in researching the family line. They’ve been the times that my character has been tested. They’ve been the times when love or hate has filled my being from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet. It’s been when I’m at the end of myself or on my knees. And, lately, it’s been when I’m standing tall and take what is rightfully mine, rather than allowing it to be taken from me.

I am Jared King. I’m a Scotsman. I’m an Irishman. I’m a Ger-man. And I’m proud of all of these things. But, I’m more proud that I’m a husband of 12 years, most of which have not been easy. I’m a father of a beautiful little girl who had a harrowing journey to start her life in this world. And, I’m a weldor/fabricator, for which I trained hard and earned the right to take my place among my peers.

I’m still searching for “home,” but I’m getting really close to finding it. I’ll have plenty on that when I do.

So, who are you? How did you discover it?

1 comment:

Niki said...

I am Niki. Hear me roar! ;)

For me it began with who I am NOT. I hate to admit that it started off with a negative, but that's how I was raised and that's what made sense. It was a glorious day when I realized that I would rather be about what I stand for than what I am against.

I am a loving wife and mother who also has her bitchy days.

I come from quick-tempered Irish/Norwegian/German stock, but I'm learning how to be soft and gentle.

I am both a procrastinator and an overcomer.

I am a lover and a fighter.

I am so much more...

Glad to see you see yourself, J. :)